State of the Weed — California • Q3 2025
Cherry, the movie star here. All right, darling, picture me lounging poolside at the Chateau Marmont, fresh from a table read, speaking in that affected mid-Atlantic thing we all do when we’re trying to sound casual but important.
Market Snapshot
The scene’s absolutely brutal right now, sweetie—legacy market’s still doing circles around legal like a stunt double outperforming the lead. Everyone’s talking about the $2,000 pounds at the cultivator level, but pretending they’re not buying them. Tax situation’s still a tragedy worthy of an Oscar—40% effective rate has dispensaries closing faster than pilots during strike season. But the boutique brands? They’re having their moment, darling, like A24 in a world of Marvel sequels.
Strain Leaderboard
Staples
| Strain | Why It Sticks |
|---|---|
| Runtz | The Ryan Gosling of weed—reliable, pretty, always delivers the performance |
| Wedding Cake | Classic crowd-pleaser, like a Spielberg film—nobody’s mad about it |
| Jack Herer | The character actor of strains—been around forever, still books every role |
Risers
| Strain | Genetics | Flavor | THC | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jealousy | Gelato 41 x Sherbert | Creamy, earthy, sweet | 28%–30% | Everyone’s agent has this in their desk drawer |
| Gary Payton | The Y x Snowman | Diesel, mint, pepper | 32%–35% | Cookies collab – celebrity endorsed like everything here |
| Pink Certz | Grape Gasoline x The Menthol | Floral, grape, mint | 30%–33% | Instagram-pretty bags moving at premieres |
Terp Lanes Trending
- Zkittlez descendants: Everyone wants candy terps for their pool parties in the Hills
- Vintage Chem profiles: Directors and writers love that intellectual diesel, very auteur
- Exotic fruit medleys: Tropicana this, Guava that – smoothie bar influence is real
Price Bands (observational)
- Value: $100-150/oz – Studio assistants and background actors keeping this tier alive
- Mid: $200-250/oz – Where the working actors shop, decent quality without the premiere markup
- Top-shelf: $400-600/oz – Executive producer weed, branded eighths in designer packaging
City Taste Map
- Los Angeles: Whatever’s trending on Justin Bieber’s story—hype strains with celebrity connections
- San Francisco: Tech bros microdosing ratio products, 3:1 CBD to THC is their cocaine
- San Diego: Beach culture wants energetic sativas—surf, sand, and Super Silver Haze
Forward Look
- Celebrity brands gonna proliferate like streaming services—everyone gets one, most will fail spectacularly
- Lounge consumption licenses finally happening—picture Soho House but for cannabis, very exclusive, very overpriced
- Solventless everything—rosin’s having its moment like method acting in the ’70s, everyone’s a purist suddenly
**Takes off sunglasses dramatically**
And that’s the tea, honey. The California cannabis scene is basically the entertainment industry with THC—oversaturated, overpriced, overwhelming, but somehow we’re all still here playing the game. The real ones know the best stuff never makes it to the legal shelves anyway … but we don’t discuss that at the fundraisers.
Related Reads
Top 10 Cannabis Strains To Watch in 2025
Top Cannabis Strains of 2025 in California
Suggested Articles
10 Sep 2025 
3 min read
;)
;)
;)
September 10, 2025 
RESPONSES (0)
No responses yet. Be the first to respond!