4 Assed Monkey (Autoflower) – Mephisto Genetics

4 Assed Monkey Autoflower Feminized Seeds – Sticky, Funky, and Crazier Than a Barrel of Drunk Chimps

Quick-and-Dirty Facts

• Breeder: Mephisto Genetics
• Parentage: Gorilla Glue #4 x Grape Crinkle
• THC: 20% to 25% (so yeah, she's pretty loud)
• CBD: Less than 1% (don't count on this monkey for mellow)
• Type: Indica-dominant hybrid
• Flower Time: 63 to 70 days (autoflower, fast and filthy)
• Yield: Big smiles and big jars
• Seed Type: Autoflower Feminized
• Grow Difficulty: Moderate – newbies welcome, just don’t love her to death
• Best Use: Creative launches, stress assassinations, after-work brain massage

Monkey’s Family Tree: Genetics You Can Trust (or at Least Blame)

Mom: Gorilla Glue #4

• World-famous for resin, sticky as hell, packs a left hook
• Relaxation you feel in your soul – if you still have one

Dad: Grape Crinkle

• Pumps in autoflower kick and grape Jolly Rancher terps
• Hypes creativity, keeps you happy without gluing you to the couch

Strain Specs

• Indica/Sativa: About 60/40, so you get some gas and some go
• Hybrid Vibes: Balanced enough to chill without knocking out your lights

Raising Your Monkey: Growing Tips for the Un-shook

Indoor Growing

• Size Queen: Stays under 3 feet—ninja grow approved
• Light Schedule: No 12/12 headache, just run her hot (18-24 hours if you dare)
• Climate: She’s cool with anything from “comfortable sweatpants” to “mild summer sidewalk” (68-80°F); late bloom rh < 55%
• Feeding: Hungry but not gluttonous—don’t dump your nutes and bail

How She Grows

• Structure: Bushy brawler, strong branches, loaded with hard nugs. Give her a haircut (LST) for max loot
• Turnaround: 63-70 days seed to smoke—barely enough time for buyer’s remorse
• Training: LST is golden; topping is risky, like wrestling an angry baboon
• Plague Resistance: Tough skin; resin armor laughs at most pests and mold

Looks and Yields

• Indoor: 100-200g/plant—don’t forget the jars
• Outdoor: 120-250g/plant (with some luck and sun love)
• Tips: Keep air moving, feed gently, don’t let the air get swampy—she’ll thank you with heavy hands

Climate Sass

• Prefers: Warmish, not swampy—think Europe-on-vacation, not Florida-in-July
• Finish Line: 9–10 weeks after germ—plant smart, beat the frost
• Watchpoints: Don’t drown her in late-bloom humidity or nutes—she’s chill, not bulletproof

Buzz Breakdown: What 4 Assed Monkey Really Feels Like

• Physical:
  • Body melt, muscle un-knotting, heavy relaxation (without instant nap mode)
  • Stress = vaporized, aches = dulled, still got enough fire to raid your fridge
  • Best for: Checking out after work without checking out of reality
• Medicinal:
  • User reports: pain relief, anxiety dropkicked, sleep improved
• Duration/Strength:
  • Onset: Smacks quick; peaks in half an hour, hangs around for a solid 2-3 hours
  • Potent—mind your dose or you’ll be monkey-mumbling by dinner

Mental Mojo

• Cerebral: Brain fireworks—creativity, giggle fits, weird snack inventions
• Mood: Uplifted, buzzy, “who cares about Monday?” attitude
• Social: Pairs well with movies, solo jams, or chill hangs (just avoid ex-in-laws)
• Best Time: When you’re off the clock and on a mission to unwind

Sniff and Sip: Flavor & Aroma

• Terpenes: Myrcene (chill factor), Limonene (citrus slap), Caryophyllene (pepper hit), plus a sprinkle of Linalool and Pinene
• Scent: Pungent grape-wine-candy whack mixed with diesel and woodsy funk
• Taste: Grape on the tongue, diesel in the lungs, sticky-sweet exhale. No hiding it when you open the bag
• Note: If you wanted "subtle," boy did you zig when you should’ve zagged

Seed Specs: What’s in the Bag?

• Type: Autoflower Feminized—set and forget, all ladies, no useless boys
• Germ Rate: Above 95% (with half a clue and not a rusty spoon)
• Look: Chunky, tiger stripes, no nonsense
• Pack: Tamper-evident, stealthy, fresher than the Prince of Bel-Air
• Storage: Cool, dark, airtight (crisper = gold)
• Shelf Life: Good for 3 years—if you have any patience
• Shipping: Stealth, fast, no “what’s this?” neighbor drama
• Guarantee: Seeds Here Now stands by your beans—germ or replacement, no whining necessary

Reasons to Roll With 4 Assed Monkey Seeds (and Not Just for the Name)

• Ideal for: Anyone with tastebuds and a calendar—loves flavor, hates long waits
• Experience: Advanced beginners and up—just don’t feed her like a college frat bro
• Perks: Stealthy plant, wild flavors, easy training, and a buzz to erase idiot bosses from memory
• Use: Deadly as a medical nightcap or for laughing your ass off at cartoons

Customer Raves and Rants

Sarah P. (Denver, CO):

"My first auto flower, now I’m ruined for anything else. Tight buds, stupid-easy, smelled so strong my neighbor kept ‘accidentally’ knocking on the door."

Mike D. (Portland, OR):

"Harvested in under 10 weeks. Hits like a sledgehammer covered in grape jam. 11/10, would monkey again."

Tina S. (Upstate NY):

"Yields were hefty even in my cold shed. Great for winding down – and my insomnia took a hike. Thanks for making me look like I know what I’m doing."

Snag Your 4 Assed Monkey Seeds Today

You want a grow that’s fast, funky, and punches well above its weight? Quit stalling. Get off your ass and grab 4 Assed Monkey autoflower seeds at Seeds Here Now—where your order gets hustled out discreetly, with a germ guarantee that doesn’t mess around. These bad boys are for novelty use only (wink) so check your local regs before you go jungle wild. You got questions? Their crew actually knows their stuff—and won’t judge your dumbest grow questions. Don’t wait. You might not run a zoo, but your grow can swing like one.

Similar Strains Worth a Swing

• Double Grape Auto: Grape flavor bomb—more sugar, even more stick
• Glueberry OG Auto: Diesel, berry, and sticky hands—bring your best scissors
• Walter White Auto: Zippy, creative, big citrus nose—straight genius in a pot