State of the Weed — New York • Q3 2025 – Louie – NY
**Leaning against a Cadillac outside a pizzeria, gold chain catching the light, gesturing with every word**
Ay, oh! You wanna know about New York’s weed situation? Fuhgeddabout what you heard, let me tell you how it really is …
Market Snapshot
Listen here, this whole legal thing? It’s a joke, capisce? They got maybe 200 legal spots in the whole state, meanwhile every bodega from Arthur Ave to Astoria’s got a guy in the back sellin’ eighths. My cousin Sal—he’s in “construction”—he says the state’s racket makes the old families look like choirboys. $75 for an eighth at legal joints? Get outta here! My guy Joey Two-Times—they call him that ’cause he constantly repeats himself—he’s got the same stuff for $30. The state’s takin’ their cut like it’s 1975, only now they call it “tax revenue” instead of protection money. What’re you gonna do?
Strain Leaderboard
Staples
| Strain | Why It Sticks |
|---|---|
| NYC Diesel | Been around since Giuliani—it’s a New York institution, like the Yankees or disappointment |
| Sour D | Every guy from every borough’s got this—it’s like pizza, everyone claims theirs is best |
| Purple Haze | Uptown’s favorite since forever—my Uncle Tony moved pounds of this in ’92 |
Risers
| Strain | Genetics | Flavor | THC | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Staten Island Ferry | Who knows? | Diesel, garbage | 25%–30% | Named by my nephew, the disrespectful little… |
| Fuggedaboutit | Jersey trash genetics | Harsh but effective | 28% | Despite the name, you won’t forget this |
| Wise Guy OG | Connected genetics | Smooth criminal | 32% | You need to know a guy who knows a guy |
Terp Lanes Trending
- Gassy, diesel everything—If it don’t smell like the BQE at rush hour, we don’t want it
- Old school funk—The smell that says “I’ve been here since Koch was mayor”
- Whatever fell off the truck from California—My guy Vinny’s got a connect at JFK
Price Bands (observational)
- Value: $150–$200/oz – Bodega special, comes in an Arizona Iced Tea can.
- Mid: $250–$300/oz – My guy Sal’s regular, consistent like Sunday gravy.
- Top-shelf: $400–$500/oz – Manhattan prices for Manhattan people, buncha jagoffs.
City Taste Map
- Staten Island: We keep it real—strong, no-nonsense bud, none of that fruity Manhattan stuff.
- Brooklyn: Hipsters want craft this, organic that—my barber’s kid sells to ’em for double.
- Bronx: They know what’s up—good prices, good product, no stupid questions.
Forward Look
- Jersey’s still garbage, but their prices are better—makes me sick to say it, but it’s true.
- More “legal” stores coming, but who cares? My guy’s not going anywhere; he’s been here since the Towers.
- State’s gonna realize they’re losing money to every Tommy and Jimmy with a backpack—then watch the real fun start.
**Straightens collar, checks watch that definitely didn’t fall off a truck**
Look, between you, me, and the lamppost, this whole legal thing is beautiful for business. The state’s so busy chasing licenses and permits that they forgot about guys like us who have been doing this since disco.
My Uncle Tony—rest his soul—he’d be laughing his ass off. We used to worry about the DEA; now, we compete with some schmuck from Connecticut with an MBA.
If you need anything, you can come see me. Not Tuesday, though—that’s when I see my mother. And not Thursday—that’s dinner at my other mother’s. Actually, just have your people call my people. And by people, I mean my nephew Little Petey—the kid’s got one of those computer phones, very technical.
Phone rings with Godfather theme
Ay, I gotta take this. It’s about a thing with a guy about some stuff. But remember – you didn’t hear nothin’ from me, capisce? And if anyone asks, we were discussing the Mets. Terrible season, those bums.
One more thing—you ever buy weed from Jersey? Don’t. I don’t care if it’s legal there. It’s a matter of principle. Staten Island’s got pride, even if the other boroughs don’t respect us. We’re New York’s forgotten borough, but we remember everything.
**Walks away muttering about bridge tolls and garbage strikes**
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